Delusion, by CK (Cracker Klan)

Are you a Republican Congressman or Senator?  Do you oppose everything the President proposes just because he is black?  Does the mountain of bullshit that streams from your mouth weigh on your conscience? 

We know.  You have restless night after night not being able to live with screwing the American people just so you can take back power in Washington.

Well Republicans fear no more!  Introducing, new publicly offered, "Delusion"!  Yes, "Delusion" direct to you from the makers of "Queer-Be-Gone" (the magic little pill that cures your homosexuality) and "Jesus Juice" (the product I am being sued for because a few idiots drowned).

That's right, "Delusion", the fragrance that actually makes you believe your own bullshit!  Let's hear what House Minority Leader John Boehner has to say about "Delusion"....

"The situation was critical!  How were we supposed to know that the President would actually support "Cap and Trade"?  Didn't he know that it is a Republican idea?  Well, after one spray of "Delusion" I actually became aware that "Cap and Tax" is something I can vote against!"

"Delusion" is not just for your House Leaders.  John McCain was able to secure the Republican nomination in 2008 by supporting the same tax cuts he animatedly opposed in 2002. 

Remember, you are a Republican.  Unfortunately, that means you have to be as delusional as the whack-jobs that vote for you.  Take back the power!  Take back control!  "Delusion" is the answer! 

Now, how much would you pay for delusion?  $100.00?  $500.00?  If you call in the next 10 minutes, we will give you "Delusion" for only Eleventy-Billion Dollars!  Not only does "Delusion" hide your bullshit, but it also attracts young men as well!  Whether you are Virginia Foxx or Mark Foley, you will be knee deep in pages in no time!

But wait!  "Delusion" isn't only for Congress!  The rebo-netic properties of "Delusion" make it perfect for all groups of brainless idiots (yes...I know rebo-netic is not an actual word....but I am talking to Republicans, so making shit up is a-ok). 

- Guidance Counselors
- Parents
- High School Teachers
- Fox News Hosts
- Major League Baseball Players
- Religious Leaders
- Economists
- Weathermen
- CEO's
- Retail Managers
- Trucking Industry Professionals
- Doctors
- Lawyers
- "Blue Dog" Democrats
- Insurance Agents
- Claims Adjusters
- Newscasters
- Banking Professionals
- Bartenders
- Golf Pros
- Late Night Talk Show Hosts
- Morning Talk Show Hosts

And many, many more!

Wait!  That's not all!  Made just for Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and Sean Hannity, now comes "Super Delusion"!  When "Delusion" just can't possibly mask your bullshit, turn to "Super Delusion" (now with beta-carotene). 

***Delusion is not a fully tested product based on the fact that the individuals that have tried it, already have no soul.  Attn: There is no need for Dick Cheney to use this product.  His bullshit tolerance levels are already superior.  Delusion has been shown to actually make you fall in love with your wife again after your "hiking" trip to Argentina!  If you are homosexual, this product will allow you to hate other homosexuals without that guilty feeling!  As always, like characters in the bible, this spray does not actually exist.  Like the Tin Man, Scarecrow, and Cowardly Lion, Republicans don't need the spray.  They believe their bullshit all on their own!"