On my blog occasionally, I try to make my articles humorous, but other times the comedy writes itself. This is certainly an occasion that is so ridiculous that I couldn't even make this one up.
A month ago, Men's Health Magazine ranked Corpus Christi, Texas the "fattest city" in America. I wasn't completely sure how they came up with their findings, but then I found out yesterday about the large amounts of marijuana filtering its way into Corpus Christi. This explains it all! "Baked" Corpus Christi residents are on a constant "munchie" craze! The only problem is, Corpus Christi, as it turns out, isn't high. It's just stupid.
The police department of Corpus Christi received a call from a teenager riding his bike through a city park. The teenager claimed that he found an entire patch of marijuana plants growing in the city park. The police responded immediately and verified the boy's story. They began to remove 300 to 400 plants from the park stopping only because it was getting dark. They planned to search for more plants immediately the next morning. They were so excited to be making a drug bust of this size.
Unfortunately, for the police, the "weed" that they found were actually "weeds". The police spent over five hours removing a common wild growing weed called "horsemint"! Yes, that's right everyone. Your local police department just spent five hours gardening.
Could this possibly be an alternative to illegal immigration? Pay the police to do the job that Americans won't do. What a great idea! I have already e-mailed the Corpus Christi Police Department inquiring about the cost of their horticultural services.
Now, this event is a small symbol of a greater issue. This was five hours of wasted taxpayer dollars, but the "War on Drugs" has been 40 years of wasted taxpayer dollars. Adds on television, drug busts in South America, thousands of man-hours, and millions of prisoners later, and what do we have to show for it all? Drug use has increased in the United States of America by 1% since the inception of the "War on Drugs". If you dislike a large ineffective bureaucracy, here is a shining example.
I am certainly not blind to the horrible effect that drugs can have, but I do not understand why only certain drugs are singled out as "bad". The media and the law always gives a pass to prescription drug abusers while persecuting and prosecuting Tommy Chong for selling paraphernalia on the Internet.
Why is alcohol legal and marijuana illegal? There is certainly no medical or health reason for it, and many more people are killed by "drunk drivers" than "high drivers". Cigarettes are laced with tar and the smoke from them causes harm to others in the vicinity, but they are still legal. There are no redeeming qualities of tobacco whatsoever, but it is still legal. As Americans we have decided that sacrificing some safety for freedom of choice is a positive thing. Why should marijuana use be any different?
Legalization would cure several financial ills affecting our country. It would bring millions of dollars in revenue to the state and save millions more by releasing thousands of pot smokers from prison. And last, but certainly not least, the state of Texas can return to the two things it is best at....book burning and executing retards.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Friday, May 21, 2010
Just in Case You Weren't Sure
Newsflash.....I think the Tea Party is a racist movement. I know, I know, I almost couldn't believe it either! I thought that just because 100% of their members are white, and they shout "nigger" at congressmen, and they hold up signs calling the President a lying African, that all of that was just part of their charm. I thought, "They are just for citizens rights, like me"! That was until they were actually able to elect their first representative in a Republican Primary.
Of course I am being facetious, and I am pretty sure there wasn't any real doubt in the country's mind that the Tea Party was anything but the KKK without the sheets. Oh, I know the Republicans tried to pretend that the Tea-baggers weren't racists, but even to the most brain-dead Republicans out there, it was a little obvious.
Finally, the hard concrete evidence that the entire "movement" is racist has come to the forefront. Rand Paul, the Tea-baggers number one choice for representative in the Kentucky 12th, actually claimed on the Rachel Maddow show, that he supports discrimination based on race, by private industries. Rand Paul is an optometrist, and that made me wonder, "does this mean that he wouldn't work on a "black eye"? (pause for laugh at bad joke) Not surprisingly, the Tea-baggers are still in his corner, and this will probably help his approval rating among them.
Congressional Candidate Paul did not stop there. The last few days he has been on a media blitz trying to cover up his racist agenda. He did eventually say that he would have voted for the Civil Rights Act anyway. What a sweetheart! Now, this would probably go away more quickly (because America has the attention span of gnat), but Rep. John Conyers tried to help Paul.
Conyers said, "If I was walking down the street minding my own business and someone asked me about a law that passed 40 years ago, without more detail - I think it caught him a little by surprise.
(politico.com)
This begs the question, "Is Conyers serious"? A law that passed 40 years ago? Like it was a jay-walking law or something! You know, it's only the biggest landmark legislation passed in the 20th century. How can you possibly know how you feel about it?
Now, originally I just thought Rand Paul was a racist. I had know idea he was a blithering idiot too. This fuck-nuts actually said that if everyone were Christian we wouldn't even need laws. Are these the same law abiding Christians that kill abortion doctors, support child molestation, started religious holy wars for centuries, supported eradication of the Jews, aligned their positions with Nazi Germany, enslaved African Americans, burned women at the stake for being "witches", and effectively committed genocide of the Native American people?
Are you fucking kidding me!? The whole reason we needed Civil Rights legislation in the first place w to stop this group of whack-jobs from murdering and raping African Americans in the streets! Can you tell that I am sick and tired of religious idiots claiming they have some inherent good that I don't have? And, if they do have this "inherent good" where does go once they become adults? The Puritan fucks that landed in the Americas in 1620 were the collective cause of some of the worst human rights violations in the history of the world.
In fact, the Journal of Religion & Society reported in 2008 that Christian nations have much higher crime rates than secular nations. The comments by Rand Paul are just plain fucking stupid. The good news for Tea-baggers is when most of the country already thinks that you are racist and stupid, racist and stupid comments really aren't going to hurt your cause. Black people weren't lining up to become members anyway.
Kentucky is definitely dumb enough to elect this bigot, so you hang in there Rand! Before long you will actually be able to present your libertarian agenda into the House of Representatives moving America quickly into the 17th century!
Of course I am being facetious, and I am pretty sure there wasn't any real doubt in the country's mind that the Tea Party was anything but the KKK without the sheets. Oh, I know the Republicans tried to pretend that the Tea-baggers weren't racists, but even to the most brain-dead Republicans out there, it was a little obvious.
Finally, the hard concrete evidence that the entire "movement" is racist has come to the forefront. Rand Paul, the Tea-baggers number one choice for representative in the Kentucky 12th, actually claimed on the Rachel Maddow show, that he supports discrimination based on race, by private industries. Rand Paul is an optometrist, and that made me wonder, "does this mean that he wouldn't work on a "black eye"? (pause for laugh at bad joke) Not surprisingly, the Tea-baggers are still in his corner, and this will probably help his approval rating among them.
Congressional Candidate Paul did not stop there. The last few days he has been on a media blitz trying to cover up his racist agenda. He did eventually say that he would have voted for the Civil Rights Act anyway. What a sweetheart! Now, this would probably go away more quickly (because America has the attention span of gnat), but Rep. John Conyers tried to help Paul.
Conyers said, "If I was walking down the street minding my own business and someone asked me about a law that passed 40 years ago, without more detail - I think it caught him a little by surprise.
(politico.com)
This begs the question, "Is Conyers serious"? A law that passed 40 years ago? Like it was a jay-walking law or something! You know, it's only the biggest landmark legislation passed in the 20th century. How can you possibly know how you feel about it?
Now, originally I just thought Rand Paul was a racist. I had know idea he was a blithering idiot too. This fuck-nuts actually said that if everyone were Christian we wouldn't even need laws. Are these the same law abiding Christians that kill abortion doctors, support child molestation, started religious holy wars for centuries, supported eradication of the Jews, aligned their positions with Nazi Germany, enslaved African Americans, burned women at the stake for being "witches", and effectively committed genocide of the Native American people?
Are you fucking kidding me!? The whole reason we needed Civil Rights legislation in the first place w to stop this group of whack-jobs from murdering and raping African Americans in the streets! Can you tell that I am sick and tired of religious idiots claiming they have some inherent good that I don't have? And, if they do have this "inherent good" where does go once they become adults? The Puritan fucks that landed in the Americas in 1620 were the collective cause of some of the worst human rights violations in the history of the world.
In fact, the Journal of Religion & Society reported in 2008 that Christian nations have much higher crime rates than secular nations. The comments by Rand Paul are just plain fucking stupid. The good news for Tea-baggers is when most of the country already thinks that you are racist and stupid, racist and stupid comments really aren't going to hurt your cause. Black people weren't lining up to become members anyway.
Kentucky is definitely dumb enough to elect this bigot, so you hang in there Rand! Before long you will actually be able to present your libertarian agenda into the House of Representatives moving America quickly into the 17th century!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Run California Like a Business?
Here we go again. Another Republican is ready to run a country, state, county, municipality, and a softball league like a business. Gubernatorial candidate Meg Whitman thinks the budget crisis in California can be solved if we run the state just like a business. Except what Meg Whitman really means is that we should run California like a multinational corporation.
The problem is, corporations sell products (made in India, China, and Taiwan). The government raises money through taxes. So she is going to immediately cut the state's income. Then Whitman will want to put her plan into action.
Begin by cutting 40,000 jobs in a state that has 13% unemployment. Eliminate welfare leaving poor people on the street to fend for themselves. And cut health-care programs like SCHIP that will prevent children from dying. To actually do these things would be political suicide, so Meg won't actually do any of these things. That means...you guessed it....the deficit grows to a point of no return.
This catastrophic strategy illustrates what little Meg Whitman knows about governing. And why should she know anything? She didn't vote until she was 46, and she only became a Republican two years ago. All of a sudden she is upset about rich people paying taxes. Gee, a multi-billionaire that doesn't like taxes. The hell you say! This is the same Republican garbage over and over again, tax cuts and spending reduction. Except, as it has been proven time and time again, Republicans never actually get around to reducing spending, so what they cause instead are huge deficits that are passed on from generation to generation.
The Whitman campaign would definitely argue with my summary of her candidacy, and tell me that this isn't what she means by running California like a business. So maybe they are talking about the "other way" she likes to conduct business.
Michael Hitzik from the L.A. Times reported that Whitman was "among an elite group of executives that accepted preferential stock deals from Goldman Sachs (yes...that Goldman Sachs) while Goldman was seeking business from the executives' companies."
"In "spinning" executives would typically get shares in coveted initial public stock offerings, which they would "spin," or resell, into a soaring market, usually within days and sometimes hours. Their quick and almost entirely risk-free profits were effectively gifts, and the investment banks the givers."
Meg Whitman pointed out that this practice was not illegal at the time and deflected it as "old news". It may not have been illegal (thank you Republican deregulation), but it is unquestionably unethical, especially since Forbes magazine reported that she has kept about $1.2 billion of her earnings.
I want to urge Californians to make the right decision and stop another "Fiscal Conservative" from running this state. Californians can't afford to "foot the bill" for any more conservationists.
The problem is, corporations sell products (made in India, China, and Taiwan). The government raises money through taxes. So she is going to immediately cut the state's income. Then Whitman will want to put her plan into action.
Begin by cutting 40,000 jobs in a state that has 13% unemployment. Eliminate welfare leaving poor people on the street to fend for themselves. And cut health-care programs like SCHIP that will prevent children from dying. To actually do these things would be political suicide, so Meg won't actually do any of these things. That means...you guessed it....the deficit grows to a point of no return.
This catastrophic strategy illustrates what little Meg Whitman knows about governing. And why should she know anything? She didn't vote until she was 46, and she only became a Republican two years ago. All of a sudden she is upset about rich people paying taxes. Gee, a multi-billionaire that doesn't like taxes. The hell you say! This is the same Republican garbage over and over again, tax cuts and spending reduction. Except, as it has been proven time and time again, Republicans never actually get around to reducing spending, so what they cause instead are huge deficits that are passed on from generation to generation.
The Whitman campaign would definitely argue with my summary of her candidacy, and tell me that this isn't what she means by running California like a business. So maybe they are talking about the "other way" she likes to conduct business.
Michael Hitzik from the L.A. Times reported that Whitman was "among an elite group of executives that accepted preferential stock deals from Goldman Sachs (yes...that Goldman Sachs) while Goldman was seeking business from the executives' companies."
"In "spinning" executives would typically get shares in coveted initial public stock offerings, which they would "spin," or resell, into a soaring market, usually within days and sometimes hours. Their quick and almost entirely risk-free profits were effectively gifts, and the investment banks the givers."
Meg Whitman pointed out that this practice was not illegal at the time and deflected it as "old news". It may not have been illegal (thank you Republican deregulation), but it is unquestionably unethical, especially since Forbes magazine reported that she has kept about $1.2 billion of her earnings.
I want to urge Californians to make the right decision and stop another "Fiscal Conservative" from running this state. Californians can't afford to "foot the bill" for any more conservationists.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Feigned Illegal Immigration Outrage
Am I the only one who thinks that Americans are hypocritical when it comes to bitching about illegal immigration? I live in Anaheim, CA and I will tell you right now that not one of my neighbors (even the Hispanic neighbors) owns a lawnmower. Most of them have housekeepers and babysitters that are Hispanic. Not one of these home owners has ever asked their hired help for paperwork.
But wait, how can this be? 80% of the country thinks the government is not doing enough about illegal immigration. Well I am sorry, but that is the pot calling the kettle black. I guarantee you right now if the government started plucking people out of neighborhoods and schools, and all of a sudden everyone lost their low-wage home workforce, this country would rise up as one and take to the streets in protest.
The largest complaint about illegal immigration is that undocumented workers don't pay into the system, but they receive services from the system. This is plain false. Illegal immigrants pay about 20% of their income to the government for income tax. The C.E.O.'s of wealthy corporations pay about 18% of their income to the government for income tax. Illegal immigrants contribute $7 Billion annually to social security and $1.5 Billion annually to medicare, even though they are largely unable to receive these services. Undocumented workers usually find themselves below the poverty level, but they cannot apply for SCHIP, food stamps, or Medicaid.
C.E.O.'s of major companies took in almost $1 Trillion in government assistance recently. That is more than any immigrant group has cost the United States in history! So why all the feigned outrage that illegal immigrants get rewarded for breaking the law (like having to risk your life crossing the border and work for less than minimum wage because you don't want to starve to death is being rewarded)? We don't have a problem in America with people who break the law. The vast majority of Americans don't want to see Bush or Cheney prosecuted for war crimes.
I have a challenge for America. If you hate illegal immigration so much, then fire your gardener, housekeeper, babysitter, and pool cleaner, and pay American union labor ($30-$50 per hour) to do the same jobs. Let's see just how "patriotic" America really is. The fact is, Americans are full of crap, President Obama and the Democrats are full of crap, and the Republicans are insane and full of crap.
It is real easy to take your aggression out on "brown people" you don't know, because they can't vote, and they don't have big donations available for each congressman. It is time to stop this insanity. Again, the white majority in America, which will soon be the minority, is afraid of losing their position on the totem pole. Well I say, "TOO FUCKING BAD"! Now you will know how Native Americans felt. Oh wait, no you won't. Because the Hispanic people are not here to kill off our food, rape our women and children, and drive us into the Pacific Ocean through genocide. That is the job of the church.
But wait, how can this be? 80% of the country thinks the government is not doing enough about illegal immigration. Well I am sorry, but that is the pot calling the kettle black. I guarantee you right now if the government started plucking people out of neighborhoods and schools, and all of a sudden everyone lost their low-wage home workforce, this country would rise up as one and take to the streets in protest.
The largest complaint about illegal immigration is that undocumented workers don't pay into the system, but they receive services from the system. This is plain false. Illegal immigrants pay about 20% of their income to the government for income tax. The C.E.O.'s of wealthy corporations pay about 18% of their income to the government for income tax. Illegal immigrants contribute $7 Billion annually to social security and $1.5 Billion annually to medicare, even though they are largely unable to receive these services. Undocumented workers usually find themselves below the poverty level, but they cannot apply for SCHIP, food stamps, or Medicaid.
C.E.O.'s of major companies took in almost $1 Trillion in government assistance recently. That is more than any immigrant group has cost the United States in history! So why all the feigned outrage that illegal immigrants get rewarded for breaking the law (like having to risk your life crossing the border and work for less than minimum wage because you don't want to starve to death is being rewarded)? We don't have a problem in America with people who break the law. The vast majority of Americans don't want to see Bush or Cheney prosecuted for war crimes.
I have a challenge for America. If you hate illegal immigration so much, then fire your gardener, housekeeper, babysitter, and pool cleaner, and pay American union labor ($30-$50 per hour) to do the same jobs. Let's see just how "patriotic" America really is. The fact is, Americans are full of crap, President Obama and the Democrats are full of crap, and the Republicans are insane and full of crap.
It is real easy to take your aggression out on "brown people" you don't know, because they can't vote, and they don't have big donations available for each congressman. It is time to stop this insanity. Again, the white majority in America, which will soon be the minority, is afraid of losing their position on the totem pole. Well I say, "TOO FUCKING BAD"! Now you will know how Native Americans felt. Oh wait, no you won't. Because the Hispanic people are not here to kill off our food, rape our women and children, and drive us into the Pacific Ocean through genocide. That is the job of the church.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Guess Who's Back....Back Again!
I was in a bad mood all week long. I was so busy that I wasn't able to write my blog, Arizona passed another grossly racist law, Barack Obama stuck his lips to President Hamid Karzai's ass instead of placing him under arrest, and Glenn Beck is mad at liberals for comparing something to Nazism (I guess he had that patented and we didn't know).
But that all changed today. Ted Haggard is back! Oh happy days! Just when you thought you would run out of hypocritical right-wing buffoons, they keep coming back for more.
You remember Reverend Haggard, right? He is the anti-gay, pro-life, anti-drug, multi-million dollar minister that was um, "caught with his penis in the gay prostitute's cookie jar". Oh yeah, he was also buying crystal-meth from the same prostitute. Yes, Teddy is back, but a word to the wise, if he asks you to kneel in front of the altar with your mouth open, he isn't giving you communion.
You know, I would fully support tougher laws against thieves, rapists, murderers, and drug-pushers (you know...doctors), but I really don't want to alienate Evangelical Christians more than I already have. I never understood the need to believe in a higher power, but I do understand why these Evangelicals need their "god" so much. They do an awful lot of sinning! Between the kid-fucking, genocide, drug use, and homosexuality that goes on in the church, unchallenged by its parishioners, God is the only one left that could possibly "forgive" these people. As a liberal atheist, I don't need any god to love thy neighbor. I understand right from wrong, not because of anything I ever learned at church, but from what my mom told me about "treat others as you want to be treated".
Let's get into the true delusions of the religious right in this country. Ted Haggard went to see a "quack" when the allegations first came about, and this supposed doctor said that Teddy was a "heterosexual man with complications". You know, complications like, masturbating with a 20 year-old male assistant. I have a friend who is heterosexual just like that....except we refer to him as "gay".
So let's welcome Ted back with open arms (provided he has clothes on at the time)! I think that a nice fat bag of crack and a ball-sack on his face will have him giving hate speeches against homosexuals and drug-addicts again in no time! But after his puke-filled rants used to steal money from idiots, he will of course then use that money to get high and blown.
But that all changed today. Ted Haggard is back! Oh happy days! Just when you thought you would run out of hypocritical right-wing buffoons, they keep coming back for more.
You remember Reverend Haggard, right? He is the anti-gay, pro-life, anti-drug, multi-million dollar minister that was um, "caught with his penis in the gay prostitute's cookie jar". Oh yeah, he was also buying crystal-meth from the same prostitute. Yes, Teddy is back, but a word to the wise, if he asks you to kneel in front of the altar with your mouth open, he isn't giving you communion.
You know, I would fully support tougher laws against thieves, rapists, murderers, and drug-pushers (you know...doctors), but I really don't want to alienate Evangelical Christians more than I already have. I never understood the need to believe in a higher power, but I do understand why these Evangelicals need their "god" so much. They do an awful lot of sinning! Between the kid-fucking, genocide, drug use, and homosexuality that goes on in the church, unchallenged by its parishioners, God is the only one left that could possibly "forgive" these people. As a liberal atheist, I don't need any god to love thy neighbor. I understand right from wrong, not because of anything I ever learned at church, but from what my mom told me about "treat others as you want to be treated".
Let's get into the true delusions of the religious right in this country. Ted Haggard went to see a "quack" when the allegations first came about, and this supposed doctor said that Teddy was a "heterosexual man with complications". You know, complications like, masturbating with a 20 year-old male assistant. I have a friend who is heterosexual just like that....except we refer to him as "gay".
So let's welcome Ted back with open arms (provided he has clothes on at the time)! I think that a nice fat bag of crack and a ball-sack on his face will have him giving hate speeches against homosexuals and drug-addicts again in no time! But after his puke-filled rants used to steal money from idiots, he will of course then use that money to get high and blown.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Spill Baby Spill!
On the hit television series "The West Wing", Republican Presidential Candidate, Arnold Vinnick (Alan Alda), took part in a live televised debate with Democratic Presidential Candidate, Matthew Santos (Jimmy Smits).
One of the hot topics of the debate was the expansion of nuclear power, Santos arguing that nuclear power is not safe enough to use as a viable alternative energy source and Vinnick animatedly in favor of using nuclear power. Later in the series, a large nuclear power plant, located in Vinnick's home state of California, has a bad reactor leak. President Jed Bartlett (Martin Sheen) is forced to take action to avoid a nuclear disaster.
The circumstances in California eventually ends up costing Vinnick the election.
This week we had a horrible oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico destroying wildlife, endangering people in the southern states, and harming our environment. Ironically, this event has taken place just weeks after President Barack Obama gave a speech outlining his desire for offshore drilling. He laid out how safe it was due to technological advances that we did not have years ago. Like Arnie Vinnick, President Obama has been a victim of circumstance.
Also like Vinnick, President Obama was wrong in the first place. Drilling is dangerous, and the risks are not worth the rewards. We need to get off of the "oil tit" today! The air we breathe and the water we drink depends greatly on how clean it is. Our quality of life is being systematically destroyed by fossil fuels. There are so many alternative energy sources that we can mass produce. Solar energy, wind energy, and hydro-technology are just a few resources that we can use to keep the quality of life that we are accustomed.
Kudos to the Governor of California that changed his mind on offshore drilling after this horrible incident. Hopefully Mr. Obama will follow Mr. Schwarzenegger's example and change his mind as well. It is about time we had a president that is not afraid to say, "I was wrong".
One of the hot topics of the debate was the expansion of nuclear power, Santos arguing that nuclear power is not safe enough to use as a viable alternative energy source and Vinnick animatedly in favor of using nuclear power. Later in the series, a large nuclear power plant, located in Vinnick's home state of California, has a bad reactor leak. President Jed Bartlett (Martin Sheen) is forced to take action to avoid a nuclear disaster.
The circumstances in California eventually ends up costing Vinnick the election.
This week we had a horrible oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico destroying wildlife, endangering people in the southern states, and harming our environment. Ironically, this event has taken place just weeks after President Barack Obama gave a speech outlining his desire for offshore drilling. He laid out how safe it was due to technological advances that we did not have years ago. Like Arnie Vinnick, President Obama has been a victim of circumstance.
Also like Vinnick, President Obama was wrong in the first place. Drilling is dangerous, and the risks are not worth the rewards. We need to get off of the "oil tit" today! The air we breathe and the water we drink depends greatly on how clean it is. Our quality of life is being systematically destroyed by fossil fuels. There are so many alternative energy sources that we can mass produce. Solar energy, wind energy, and hydro-technology are just a few resources that we can use to keep the quality of life that we are accustomed.
Kudos to the Governor of California that changed his mind on offshore drilling after this horrible incident. Hopefully Mr. Obama will follow Mr. Schwarzenegger's example and change his mind as well. It is about time we had a president that is not afraid to say, "I was wrong".
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